I Never Want to Outgrow My Desperation for God

There was a season of my life when songs like Desperate by Jamie MacDonald and Lauren Daigle became like a lifeline.

I didn’t have it in me to find the words, but those lyrics could express what was in my heart.

I would sit with tears streaming down my face, holding on to every line that sounded like. “Lord, come through for me.” “Send help from heaven.” “Redeem this wreckage.” They weren’t simply lyrics playing through my speakers. They gave words to the cries I couldn’t express myself.

This morning I prayed for a song to share for my first Music Monday, and God led me to this one. As I sang along, the lyrics settled into my heart in a fresh way.

Life looks very different these days. God has been incredibly faithful. There has been healing, restoration, and so much joy. I wake up excited about the future. I have dreams that are unfolding, people I love deeply, and work that fills me with purpose. I can honestly say I’m in one of the sweetest seasons of my life.

As the song continued, I realized those lyrics belonged just as much in this season of my life as they did in the hardest ones.

It reminded me that my need for God has never changed.

There was a time when I needed Him to carry me through overwhelming pain. Today I need Him to guide my steps, shape my heart, and lead every decision I make. I need His wisdom when I don’t know what to do next, and I need His peace when plans don’t unfold the way I expected. I need His presence in the ordinary moments just as much as I needed Him in the darkest ones.

Dependence isn’t something we grow out of as we mature in our faith.

If anything, I’ve found the opposite to be true.

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more aware I become of how much I need Him. I don’t want to build anything without Him or chase opportunities He never asked me to pursue. I don’t want to confuse my ability with His blessing.

I want my life to be marked by daily dependence.

Proverbs tells us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart... and in all your ways acknowledge Him.”

All your ways.

The heartbreaking loss.

The exciting opportunities.

The dreams you’re pursuing.

The unexpected delays.

The conversations you don’t want to have.

The ordinary things that seem too small to pray about.

The disappointments that catch you off guard.

The plans you’re holding with open hands.

He is present in every one of them.

I never want to lose that awareness that every good thing in my life comes from Him and every step forward is safest when He’s leading it.

Years ago, I prayed through tears because I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day.

Today I pray with hope as I ask God to lead me into everything He has prepared for me. My prayers have changed over the years, but they still carry the same desire to stay close to Him. More than ever, I want His wisdom before my own, His timing instead of mine, and His presence in every step.

I know there will be hard seasons again. There will be days when life hurts, prayers come through tears, and I find myself crying out for God to carry me. There will also be days filled with joy, anticipation, and dreams unfolding right in front of me.

In every season, I want my prayer to be the same: “Lord, stay close. Lead me. Don’t let me get ahead of You.”

I think that’s what I’ve been learning all along. Whether I’m asking Him to carry me through the valley or lead me across the mountaintop, I never want to outgrow my desperation for God.

Maybe that’s why this song resonates so much.

Lord Jesus, I need you.

I always will.